Ice in my heart
by Phantom Sin
Summary: Madness is her middle name. Let us travel through the dilemmas that she shames as she wars with two faces. Here are her thoughts.
1. Chapter 1: Ice in my Heart

**AN:** I think I'm on a roll. There's more to come. Let me see what I can scrounge up. XO

 **Disclaimer:** These characters belong to none other than J.K. *thumbs up* Toodles!

* * *

Ice in my heart

 **~o0o~**

There's ice in my heart, ice in my veins, ice in my lungs, ice all over. What do I do?

Do I rejoice, laugh, bask in the glory or do I weep, beg for forgiveness, and wish someone would kill me.

There's ice in my heart, ice in my veins, ice in my lungs, ice all over. What do I do?

Is there a way for me to be warm and cold? Is there a way I can have both or am I just meant to be kept at bay in the frozen depths of my own destruction?

There's ice in my heart, ice in my veins, ice in my lungs, ice all over. What do I do?

Hope is all I ask for, all I have. It's better than this frosty island where there is no one but me. Forget me not, I still do take store of all the sorrows I have endured and inflicted on others.

There's ice in my heart, ice in my veins, ice in my lungs, ice all over. What do I do?

I guess this is it for me, my end. Did I rejoice I did, did I beg for forgiveness I did, did someone kill me. Yes, they did and with such mercy, I wept. There wasn't enough warmth in me to melt my icy heart.


	2. Chapter 2: All I Wanted Was Some Love

**Disclaimer:** These lovely characters belong to J.K.R. ;)

* * *

 **All I Wanted Was Some Love**

 **~o0o~**

I have something for you. Take my hand so I may show you.

This disquiet I'm feeling is not something I'm familiar with.

Can you help me so I may understand?

What is it that I am missing?

-o-

Do I need the love, the unity that is required of me?

Or is it a test to see whether I shall win or fail.

What is true and what is false.

How can I know? I cannot decide if help is what I need or crave.

I am consumed. I have nowhere to run.

-o-

Did I thirst so much for company that in the end I drove myself insane?

To make it easy for me to make sense and real?

What have I done?

I'm so far down in the hole and your arms can't reach me.

I'm weeping inside. All I wanted was some love.


	3. Chapter 3: Shadows

**AN:** Hi, I was doing a bit of tinkering and came up with this. Hope you enjoy! ;)

 **Disclaimer:** As always. I don't own HP characters. Cheers! Good day!

* * *

Shadows

 **~o0o~**

I creep into the shadows.  
There's no one I see.  
It's dark, it's quiet.  
Everywhere I look.

-0-

I creep into the shadows.  
Guess what I see.  
The moon, the silhouette.  
Of somebody,  
that means something to me.

-0-

I creep into the shadows.  
What don't I know?  
It's creaky and whiny.  
Just as the wind howls.

-0-

I creep into the shadows.  
Into the light.  
The silhouette is moving,  
hurrying along.  
I'm left standing,  
wondering, what's going on.

-0-

I creep into the shadows.  
Fighting to be warm.  
The windows are open.  
Nobody is home.

-0-

I creep into the shadows.  
The curtains are flying.  
I have come to know.  
That I'm not alone.

-0-

I creep into the shadows.  
And guess what I find.  
The silhouette,  
standing, in front of me.

-0-

I creep into the shadows.  
of my home.  
The silhouette has found me.  
Now I must go.


	4. Chapter 4: Tomb

**AN:** Again, interpret it as you like. Hope you enjoy! Good day!

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own HP or it's characters. :)

* * *

Tomb

 **~o0o~**

Silence.  
I can hear my own breathing.  
The wind has died down.  
But my heart is still thumping.  
I am cold.  
It is dark.  
My hair is tangled in cobwebs.  
What is this tomb I'm stuffed in?  
I hope I don't die so soon.

-0-

This nightmare I'm living in.  
I wish that it would stop.  
My throat is parched.  
My mouth is dry.  
I think I'm to be sick.  
This tomb I'm in.  
Has become my hell?  
I'll soon fall into a slumber.

-0-

In the distance I hear.  
My end coming.  
I become desperate.  
As I slam my fist.  
Against the lid.  
Breathless.  
Tears watering down my cheeks.  
I scream I want out of this tomb.  
I think I'm not far off.  
From going insane.

-0-

A tomb is all it takes.  
To make me a helpless mess.  
My face is dirty.  
My clothes ripped and wrinkled.  
There's not a lot that can make me.  
Scared enough to pray.  
I'm on my own, shivering.  
With nothing but my thoughts.  
To keep me company.

-0-

Hear my cry.  
Release me from this captivity.  
I'm suffocating in the tomb I'm in.  
Please show a little mercy.  
I know my sins.  
Have followed me.  
And become my personal jail cell.

-0-

I slump in my tomb.  
A defeated shell.  
The strength leaving my bones.  
Growing weaker.  
Each passing day.  
I'm left to decay.  
Much like a corpse.


	5. Chapter 5: Nightmare

**AN:** A beloved unforgettable character. Everything about her is so complicated and complex that I love it! I can't wait to write more of her. Hope you enjoy! :D

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own HP or its characters.

* * *

Nightmare

 **~o0o~**

I'm going mad.  
Only just.  
What is this nightmare.  
I'm dreaming of.

-0-

Wake up, wake up.  
Look over here.  
This nightmare isn't going away.  
Just because you're scared.

-0-

It's your fault.  
The pain your going through.  
Don't expect pity.  
This nightmare has just begun.

-0-

Do you realise now.  
What needs to be done.  
Covering your fear.  
Won't get you past this nightmare.

-0-

You understand now.  
Why you had to do this.  
This nightmare wasn't going to,  
let you run.

-0-

Be happy.  
The worst has ended.  
Because you're going to need.  
You're remaining strength.  
To fight through.  
This nightmare.  
That you started.


	6. Chapter 6: Insanity

**AN:** Here again lol. Thank you for all the reviews my sweets. Hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own HP or its characters. =)

* * *

Insanity

 **~o0o~**

I would know.  
What's it like?  
This insanity.  
Crowding my mind.

-0-

Just wait.  
I have to know.  
Is this insanity permanent.  
Because if it is.  
There's no point living.  
Mind you.

-0-

Temporarily so.  
This insanity has muted.  
My mind is clear.  
Now.  
What do I do.

-0-

This insanity of mine.  
Wasn't going to rest so easily.  
Here I am.  
Once again.  
The witch you wouldn't want.  
As a mom.

-0-

I know I'm trouble.  
I know I'm a mess.  
But with clarity.  
I can say.  
This insanity won't be missed.


	7. Chapter 7: Abyss

**Disclaimer:** I don't own HP or its characters

* * *

Abyss

 **o0o**

I stifle a yawn

and gaze into the blackness.

This place has become familiar.

Routine.

A blank space with no faces.

Where cruelty lies.

Who dares to enter?

The belly of the abyss.

-0-

I stretch my arms,

look side to side.

Nobody is there.

I shuffle forward,

my legs sluggish.

I pause, and then stare.

Looks to me like the abyss is playing a joke on me.

Circling around me.

It's cackling madly.

I shiver.

It's gone.

-0-

I turned around

and stride forward.

No air to sustain me.

No ground to hold me.

It seems I'm just a revolving spirit.

Beckoned to this life,

simply by coincidence.

The abyss hollers a laugh.

-0-

Sailing and dropping.

Up and down.

Weaving and gliding.

I flinch as the nails of abyss screech.

Stunned, I look.

Red as a rose.

Thick as crimson liquid.

Horror-struck.

I sprint.

The footprints of blood gather at my feet.

Staining the perfect black.

-0-

The abyss looms above,

stretching its mouth wider than is feasible.

I cower.

It pushes me and flies skyward.

I scream as I drop.

A hole opens into a vortex.

Silence.

Rapid breathing.

-0-

I can't see.

I don't know where I am.

This place is foreign.

A rumble vibrates up my spine.

I shake.

My eyes burn.

Hands reach me.

Millions, pulling me from every direction.

I slap them away.

I crawl forward to get away.

The hands pulls be back by my leg.

Scraping my throat raw,

my cries go unanswered.

Echoing a sad single tune in crescendo.

Wings flap.

I glance up.

The abyss stares at me with dead eyes.

Smile uncaring.


	8. Chapter 8: Flame

**Disclaimer:** I don't own HP or its characters. Hope you enjoy! :D

* * *

 **Flame**

 **~o0o~**

I can't stop thinking.

There's this fire inside of my head.

Burning bright.

I've retreated to a dark corner.

I can't stand the sudden intensity.

It's blinding me.

Making me cower into the darkness,

where the flame can't reach me.

-0-

How am I to get out?

This constant bickering is not helping.

My mind is a crowd and many people are trampling me.

I can't get out.

I'm confined.

Living a life in tomb-like silence.

If this flame doesn't die out,

I think I'm going to explode.

-0-

Voices, they keep whispering to me.

I try to ignore them, block them out.

I'm unsuccessful.

They keep pushing,

pressing into me, and

generating a heat in my head that I can't douse out.

The flame's still thick and running,

why else would I be stuck here

inside this black hole.

-0-

No shred of happiness can reach me here.

I'm stuck with nowhere out.

I'm not going to just sit there

feeding the dark with my despair.

There's a gap,

I see it, only just.

Is that wind?

The flame is flickering,

weakening, it's goes still.

Then, instead of dying the flame gets bigger.

I think I'm trapped so I scream.

The flame is not trapping me like I expected.

It's showing me a way out like I wanted.


	9. Chapter 9: Worship

**Disclaimer:** I don't own HP or its characters. Hope you enjoy! ;)

* * *

 **Worship**

 **~o0o~**

There is no question,

who is thr one loyal to you.

I breathe the very air you stand on.

It is my greatest pleasure to serve you.

For you, I could killl.

No doubt it is me,

only, who will worship the ground you walk on.

-0-

Never have I ever, failed you before.

My time has been spent keeping your name

and the fear in people's hearts.

Stirring chaos that would only make them terrified.

You see, my only worship has been you.

-0-

I have broken through barriers.

Called armies to battle.

My will is strong.

My belief never changing.

The hold that you have on me will never crack.

No one will worship you,

the way I do.

-0-

Your worth tops those of purebloods.

I have faith that one day you will

take me by your side and reward me with such a gift,

that never tears me apart from you.

I worship you till the end.


End file.
